DUMPTHATJERK.HANNAHJOYPUBLISHING.COM

Refuse Sex and Get a Guilt Trip, Or be Treated Like a Whore

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:12:00 GMT

It is almost exactly the middle of the summer now so it seemed fitting to bring up sexual topics. It is a fact that people this time of the year are "hornier" so to speak. And this can be dangerous...

My Story

I am a person who has lived on both sides of the sexual fence so to speak. For a long time I tried to do what I thought was the right thing. I abstained from premarital sex. The guilt trips are often very wearing on a person, not to mention the pressure. No one should let it get to them if they truly believe that they should save sex for marriage.

However, we are all human and women are no different from men. They do what they believe feels good because what feels good often feels right. Is this the case? Well, that is an answer left unsaid until a different time. This is not meant to preach morals. It is more just to state the fact that if a woman (or a man in some cases) refuses to have sex she gets a guilt trip.

However, it is these very same men who give the woman a guilt trip that afterwards treats her like a complete piece of garbage. That is because when you give it up too quickly (and according to some views before marriage is too quickly) the man loses respect for you. The reverse is true I think.

That often if a man especially if he wants to sleep with a woman on the same night he meets her...well I would be less inclined to want to marry a guy like that then if I had been with him for awhile before we had sex. Again, there is the issue of premarital sex. That is the ideal but it can be very hard to follow.

However, for now the main concern is the lack of respect that men have for a woman who gives him what he wants. The least he could do afterwards is treat her with kindness in respect. If anything, even if you do believe that sex before marriage is a mistake after you have had sex with a woman you should not treat her like dirt.

Either the couple should kindly end it if they realize they should not be together, or they should maybe think about getting married. Again, I am no angel and so I feel as though I have lost my right to tell people what to do. All I know is that the more promiscuous that persons become the lower the respect they have for themselves.

However, also remember it is too for you to regain your self-respect. This is true whether you are a man or a woman. Either way you should begin to think higher of yourself and not that you have to give in to other's demands-no matter how sweet and gentle those demands may be conveyed.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

My Take on 'He's Just not Into You' and 'How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days'

Conblogaration2010 — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:14:00 GMT

I must admit I have been there done that as far as reading the book and seeing the movie He's Just not that Into you. I have gotten wrapped up in someone who is simply just not that interested in me as a person at all.

The funny part about all of this is...I know also how to drive a man a way, kind of like when I watched another movie called How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.

In my defense, it is usually intentional. I know I am acting this way. And why? Because it is hard to get through to a guy I don't want to be with that I just do not want to be with him. I could have strong feelings for him even and maybe I just think he is not right for me. So...

I began to act just like many guys acted towards me-like a total jerk. Does two wrongs make a right? Probably not. However, it really does get the job done! So in this case I can empathize somewhat for the reasons why men act like jerks. They have a hard time letting go if it is a relationship they do not want to be in.

On the other hand...it is really sometimes the case that men just do not care. But it also is true for women. My bad!

The beauty of both realizing He's Just not that Into you and that a woman can really learn How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. It gives a woman power. She can choose for herself what she wants.

A woman has the power to choose whether she wants to pine over a man who does not want her. She also has the power to choose between doing what she can do to keep him around and show she appreciates him. Otherwise, she can do the opposite-whether intentionally or unintentionally-she can drive him away.

Now playing games is not always the best policy-but honestly is!

If a woman doesn't really want a guy around she can do exactly the opposite of the advice of what it says in He's Just not that Into you or she can do exactly what it says to do in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.

I must I have done it many times. Played these games. I am not proud of it but people do it simply because it works. Besides it can be somewhat entertaining at times.

I have quite a bit of fun when I feel a bit rejected by a guy and yet I know it is pointless to waste my time with him. I acted just crazy enough to drive the person away. It works every single time. Now, if I meet someone who is worth the time of day, which in fact I have, I won't do that. It's as simple as that.

I am ashamed to admit that I have been very immature at times in the past. I have have had a little too much fun playing with the minds of those who played me. It is sweet at times. However, it is not healthy to continue this pattern I learned as all it does is hurt me.

As I said in other posts...ladies let this be a lesson to you!

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Is true love perfect?

Conblogaration2010 — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:51:00 GMT

I saw "The Notebook" not too long ago again wishing that love were like that but it really is not. I mean it did remind me of a summer of love I had so long ago. The end result was that the person and me had a fairly innocent relationship. No sex. Never, but especially not when we were together as teens.

The movie is also beautiful in another way because aspects of it remind me of the kind of love that my grandma and grandpa had for one another. They were inseparable and my grandma has alzheimer's. So very rare does perfect love exist and I would like to think that my grandma and grandpa had it-or close to it.

However, unlike in the Notebook what I thought was a love story did not even have an ending at all. And it was not because of some death or tragedy or any other kind of uncontrollable illness or circumstance.

Here is my story....

I just do not know the truth about my past love at all. We were only together for a few months. There was no real closure no real finding out if he really could have been a trustworthy loving person to me. If he could be with me until old age.

I really wanted there to be a happy ending and I really wanted to write about it. But none of that happened. At least not yet. Not with that individual. Perhaps it really was never meant to be.

In the mean time, though I love the movie the Notebook and it reminds me so much of my grandma and grandpa it is not exactly perfect. Then again, real life is not like the movies, and nor is love. There are flaws in the movie, and it got me thinking that maybe true love sometimes does come out of an imperfect situation.

This is so contrary to what I've been taught about love in the past though (that true love was perfect is what I always thought and always came just out of a perfect situation). However, I don't know what to believe any more.

Additional Concerns

This is slightly off topic but I am trying to make the point that true love is not like in the movies. That is, how can they depict true love amongst passionate teenagers? Is it really possible for teenagers to experience true love?

I like The Notebook because apparently their love did last. However, I also did see some additional flaws...

The main character Allie cheats on some very good guy she was engaged to in the movie later in life seven years after parting ways with Noah, her first love of whom she lost contact. I shouldn't have let that get to me but it did?

I guess it was only natural to never forget her first love. And maybe if I would have had a chance again with my first love maybe I would have taken it. However, the problem I have is this...

Allie did not have even the decency to tell her fiance of her struggles-that she had feelings for her ex (her first love). She lies about where she has to go and does not tell her current fiance the truth. I mean what crap is that? What kind of message does that say to people about love?

That people can just go out and do what they want and still expect to have a good relationship? I think the entire story is beautiful but Noah should have told her fiance the truth before she left to go see Noah, not after! As much as the truth hurts it is always better than a lie. I myself would never want to live a lie ever.

You know what that portion of the story does? (Well obviously Allie did not love her fiance but still loved Noah I know or she would have been truthful to him!) This part of the story gives people some false home that true love could really be like that and exist from that kind of behavior. Of course, then there is the story about June Carter who was supposedly Johnny Cash's "one true love" and apparently according to the media she was.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

It's time for me to grab a little happiness of my own!

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:57:00 GMT

It's time for me to grab a little happiness of my own. I know love should not be impatient or selfish but where does a person draw the line? I need to get what I need out of a relationship as well the next person.

I cannot cater the rest of my life to insecure men who have so much baggage. (And the reverse of course is true of men-they cannot hang onto insecure, bitter women.) Oh, and nevermind the guilt trips that go along with wanting to be in a happy relationship as you try to end an unhappy one!

There is the famous line: "Why are you being so hard on me?" Sometimes this is true. Sometimes we as humans get impatient. However, our time on this earth is limited. Life is way too short to wait around for someone forever.

In any case, Gone are these days: No longer will I feel sorry for and bend over backwards to prove my love to insecure, needy men who really don't know if they want to be with me in the first place. Low self esteem in a man is a huge turnoff and I cannot handle it. I also know that if I have any respect for myself it is these lonely, insecure men who just use women. Enough is enough!

Besides this is where true happiness is found: It is found within oneself and not another person. However, there is happiness to be found within oneself when you really do enjoy being with the person you are with.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

I Minimize you Like a Computer Screen

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:16:00 GMT

I minimize you like a computer screen.

You are still there and I can pull you up
when I feel the need.

You may think this is downright insensitive
and cold, but then again computer screens
don't have feelings.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

I may have made mistakes, but refuse to feed "bad" about myself!

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 00:37:00 GMT

I may have made mistakes, but refuse to feed "bad" about myself! I may have made some mistakes, especially in the past four years. I may have lost a little respect for myself lately-and respect of others. However, I am not going to feel bad about myself.

All I can do is pick up the pieces and move on. All I can do is start over. Not dwell on the past and start over. No one but God has any idea what I think about or what I don't think about.

I don't expect some of the people in my life to respect me any more, but I refuse to feel bad about myself. I just recognize the mistakes I made and then I move on. I move on and I start over and I try not to get involved in the behaviors I was in.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

The Other Side: Could the Abuser Possibly be the Woman?

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 00:21:00 GMT

Just recently I was ashamed to take a look at myself. I realized lately that the abuser can not only be the man but the woman. I don't know how many times I have always been on watch and alert looking for the smallest sign that someone would hurt me, while ignoring all the times I could possibly injure someone else.

What a shame and it makes me very sad. I am so sad that I am even ashamed to admit the times when I said things I should have never said-thinks that would hurt a man's feelings. Things that would cause him to feel put down or not good enough or just discouraged and wanting to give up.

Even though some men are cruel, insensitive, self-absorbed, narcissistic, and so on that gives me no right to be cruel in return. I have realized this for quite some time but It can be hard to not react to a person who just has blatant disrespect for women (making comments about their sagging body parts, comparing other women, pressuring them to have sex, or worse yet hitting or abusing them).

There is a fine line though. A woman should never stoop to a man's level if he is humiliating her and degrading her in some way or another. If he is abusing her in one way or another.

Anyway...to answer my original question: Can the abuser be the woman?

Of course, the answer is yes. The abuser can be the woman. Not always, and certainly not in the cases where the male abuser is projecting his own abuse onto the woman while accusing her of being the abusive one! In some relationships it is the man who is truly being emotionally and physically battered!

If a woman finds that she cannot remain calm around a man then it may be time for her to leave because he can strip her of all her self-respect and in the end she will become a person she never though she would be. Women can be abusers but not all women want to be.

Sometimes they are reacting to small seeds of disrespect that are sown but she does not have to live that way or put up with it. Instead of a woman abusing a man she should just stay away from him if she feels bad most of the time when around him.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Response to a Catch 'em and Keep 'em Mailing

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:52:00 GMT

This entry is in response to a quote from a Catch 'em and Keep 'em Mailing by Christian Carter that I received this week.

A Christian Carter Newsletter Quote...

" ...And whatever you do, DON'T make the mistake of trying to convince him that he should act or feel differently and somehow that will solve all your problems.

I'll put it to you straight - a man will NOT respond positively to this way of communicating. It will only make him distant and withdrawn. "

My Response...

I think what Christian Carter is trying to say is that however a man acts or doesn't act it will not change who a woman is-in this case who I am. However he acts it will not solve all my problems. I have my own issues.

It is a little bit confusing that he would say this, however. After all, he also says in some of his writings that women should not waste their time and energy or do all the work in a relationship.

It is true that a woman can only change herself. She cannot change a man. Furthermore, the above quote from a Christian Carter newsletter regarding men may be true.

However, there are times when I just get so sick of kissing a guy's rear end. I mean, this is concerning concepts of basic respect. Some men just simply do not know how to treat women at all.

I appreciate the truth of what Christian Carter says in his reading material. However, sometimes when I read it I get a bit irritated. Sometimes I feel like women are required to kiss a guy's butt and act like everything is "okay" and just to go along with whatever he wants.

Is that what women have to do to get a guy to stay with them? Just to simply pretend that everything is "okay" all the time. Never confront the truth of anything? Never admit that certain behaviors about men bother me?

Because truthfully that is what I feel like I had to do with the guys I was with. I often feel like all I am there for is to be seen and not heard. I wonder at first if this was what Christian Carter was trying to say.

However, after pondering this quote as well as the other information I learned from this man I think maybe I understand a little bit better now what he means. Women cannot control what a man decides to do. And women telling a man "what to do" and "how to behave" in such a punitive way as if he is a child is not the answer.

It is hard though when you are dealing with jerks. They have hardly any idea of how to treat women with any amount of basic human respect. Therefore, in this case it can be harder to hold my tongue.

After awhile enough is enough already and I just want to say what's really on my mind instead of having to sugar coat it. I get so sick of the crap, and I just want to say what I have to say regardless of a man gets defensive and withdraws. The main reason why is sometimes the truth hurts.

However, the main point here is that men need time to think and to adjust to what they are being told. They cannot respond to constant "nagging" and a woman expecting them to just change everything right this second.

Furthermore, the stark reality is that a man is not going to change for a woman. He is only going to change if he sees that the change will benefit him somehow. Yes, he should care about your feelings and validate you as a woman.

He should never put you down or disrespect you in any way. However, he cannot make you happy. His changing actions will not necessarily change you.

Conclusion

Women need to give a guy who is nice and thoughtful a majority of the time a little bit of time and space sometimes. Cut him some slack. However, if a man hardly ever calls a woman and does not even show any interest in her life at all the best thing for her to do is to just admit she is not happy in the relationship and then move on.

Then, if a man just lets her go without much of a fight well that is a woman's answer. He never really cared about her that much in the first place. However, if a man asks a woman "why" and shows concern for her as she is about to leave then there may be a chance that the situation can be resolved.

In the end though a woman is just going to have to decide if she can accept a man or not. If he is really good enough or what she really needs or not.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

What I Learned about Love from You (Not Much)

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:46:00 GMT

You claimed to be like this love guru
But all I learned from you
Was that women who are

Pretty enough-which it seemed you never thought I was
Talented enough-which you seemed to not think I was
Exceptional enough-which I don't think you think I was

Or...

In just some way you taught me that the ones who are

Worth it to you....

Those are the ones that deserve love.
But just an ordinary person like me...
According to your point of view
I deserve your wrath
I deserve to be treated like...

An incompetent idiot*

(At least according to you, from what I see)

and...

Incapable of any sound decision...

That is except for one...

Which was to get rid of you.

That was the best decision I ever made.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

About 'Dump that Jerk' at Hannah Joypublishing.com

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:29:00 GMT

The Dump that Jerk.hannahjoypublishing.com blog was started in May of 2008. Since then it has grown from a bitter venting ground while trying to find my way in the world. However, this blog has been transformed into a tool to help others.

Some of the entries are creative while others are educational and informative. It is a mixed bag of tears and laughter as women get rid of jerks and recover from mediocre or bad relationships.

Men are welcome to read as well. In fact, the Dump that Jerk publisher is now working on making sure this blog also caters to them. Nice guys deserve a chance and hopefully nice guys as well as the 'fed-up women' can support the continuance of this blog as well.

By the way, this blog used to be for married people but that is no longer the case. It is now for both single and married men and women. The transformation is going to take awhile but it will ensue soon.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Beware of the ones who beg you for a chance!

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:04:00 GMT

Beware of the ones who beg you for a chance. I mean, they can be genuine people but you still need to put your guard up. Also, in the event of your gut feeling saying it is a wrong decision then go with it.

Anyone can act all nice, sweet, kind, attentive, and supportive if they think you are willing to dish out what they want. But beware in that they might not be so nice, kind, attentive, and supportive if they don't think they are going to get what they want.

To be fair though I myself struggle with not wanting to be rejected. and that can lead to saying things I should definitely not say at times. The feeling of not wanting to be rejected is stronger perhaps sometimes than my actual love for a person.

However, when I take a closer look into myself I realize something. Maybe it was me who did not want to be with certain people of my past and not the other way around. The only reason perhaps that I would miss a person or be sad is perhaps because that person left me and I was not the one who left him.

It may not be about wanting to be with that person at all. After all, I have to stop and think (as we all do)...if that person showed interested in me would I even want the person around? Only a considerable amount of time would tell this for sure but the key word is that it definately takes time to find out.

That (what I shared in the previous paragraphs) is the reason why someone who wants a second chance cannot just immediately expect to be blindly trusted with no questions asked. It is a process.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Strong Attraction: Is it Dangerous?

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 08:51:00 GMT

Any time I feel a very intense attraction I am going to think twice about getting into a relationship with that person. Now, that is not to say that there is no way a person can be strongly attracted to a person who will treat me right. In fact, that is my ultimate goal.

I keep praying to God (in between making one mistake after another) that He would allow me to fall in love with and have strong feelings for a man who actually will treat me well. I mean, those strong feelings of infatuation have to exist for a reason.

Who wants to wind up married to a person she (or he if it is in the reverse scenario) is not madly in love with? It would be no more than just living with a roommate.

Now, that does not mean that real life and real love and real relationships are going to be like the storybook romances. And to be honest, I am thankful to God for that! Some of those storybooks make me sick! However, there are remnants of it that are true. The romance in them mixed with solid friendship I think is the idea goal.

I just firmly believe this with al my heart: A good relationship cannot possibly last without one of two major components missing. There has to be a passionate attraction between a couple who gets alone well and is great friends. I don't think the friendship should exist without the strong attraction or vice-versa.

You cannot marry someone who is just a "pal" or a "buddy" nor can you marry someone who you are just physically attracted to but have nothing in common with. I did not wait this long to find the right person to just have one or the other. I want both the strong attraction AND the true love/friendship. NOT one or the other...pah-lease! God created that attraction for a reason!

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Why did I listen to them? (Have to forgive myself)

Conblogaration2010 — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 20:41:00 GMT

I had struggled for the past few years with being angry with others because it seems like they were trying to convince me to go down a path that I should have never gone down.

Whether others were trying to influence me down a path of destruction or not though is besides the point. Either way I find myself asking me these very hard questions...

However, maybe the person I should most be angry with is my self. I wonder why I even listened to other people? Why did I allow them to get to me-to get to the point where I would start compromising my values? What was it worth to me?

Right now, I am thinking about what good it did to me to try to live a life to please others, versus one that pleases God. All it did is make me look like a total fool.

Just recently, I have been thinking about this quite a bit-and I don't want to be the fool any more. People can point fingers at me all they want but when they see that I am serious about going back to the way I used to live my life my hope is that they will stop judging me. (There was really a time when I lived a more peaceful existence-albeit a bit lonely and very imperfect-but at least more peaceful.)

I remember a time when even though I may have had my share of "issues" I still lived a more respectable life and I had more respect for myself. I think other people had more respect for me at that time in my life as well. Therefore, I guess right now all I can do is forgive myself, close that awful chapter of my life (about 7 years) and start anew.

In the mean time, anyone who wishes to make a joke of the fact that I had taken a trip away from God can just realize that eventually the joke is going to be on him or her. I am not going to do anything to take revenge on anybody because that is God's job. However, even if people do not see it now they will.

They will see how wrong they were for judging me. They will see that they had no idea what was truly in my heart and that they are the ones who now have to take a good look at them selves. This will all happen and I won't even have to tell them anything.

It will be all God's doing and I will not be to blame. I am just living my life right the best I know how and people can say what they want about me. I don't really care.

Does this mean I do not have any regret? No, but I am not going to dwell on that regret. I am just going to carry on and pick up where I left off with my relationship with God about 7 years ago.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Welcome

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:55:32 GMT

Welcome to my blog. Please check back soon for new entries.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

To the Ones Looking for an Image of Perfection

Conblogaration2010 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:41:00 GMT

There is one thing that in my experience I have found quite frustrating. I find that all the men I have dated (and I must confess I have had the same problem in return) were always looking for some image of perfection. It can be very frustrating to say the least. I mean...most men I know have dated women who have cheated on them, lied to them, or scammed them in some way or another.

Then, they come running to me and expect me to be perfect. I have some issues I must admit but seriously, men need to stop being so hard on women who are at least making an effort to be nice, honest, respectful, and what-not. It is just not fair to us. Not at all. But I must confess I have done it too so its easier said than done to stop.

It is just so hard for women to constantly have to be so scrutinized. This often is the case with men who have serious trust issues. Usually it is because they were married and/or had a longtime partner who cheated on them or did drugs or whatever. It can be hard for women who really are sincere to make it in this world because of the ones who lie and cheat.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

On a Lighter Note: Women, Feelings, and Sex

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:56:00 GMT

On a much lighter note the ironic thing I can say to men that they sometimes may not understand. They are less likely to get involved with a man if they actually have feelings for him. To a man this seems perhaps highly illogical who knows?

Or maybe in some ways they do understand. All I can say is that if I have feelings for a person there is much more to lose than if I did not. And, then if something happens as a woman is not thinking about it (per my experience of the beginning of one of my relationships) then what happens is very complicated. I myself have developed feelings for at least one person I never intended to be in a long-term relationship with.

That in itself is kind of hard to deal with. It's like waking up and realize you had stupidly when to a drunken Vegas wedding ceremony and got hitched. (I have actually met a very nice guy at one time that this happened to by the way. He later got annulled of course. It is not like in the movie "What Happens in Vegas" LOL

__

Note: This post is not intended to promote promiscuous sexual behavior. We all make mistakes and we end up in situations we later regret. Sometimes horrible relationships start because of a one night stand where one person wants more than the other. Hardly anyone waits for the right person any more-a life partner. But then again this is no perfect world.

Either way, by experience I can say if I have respect for a guy I will be less likely to be hurrying into bed with him. If I do not care if I ever see him again then maybe if I was in a very low point in life I would at last be tempted to.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

Beware of the one who Begs for a Chance #2

Conblogaration2010 — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:51:00 GMT

I already mentioned about the one who begs for a chance in a previous blog entry. It can seem flattering and make you feel very special. However, remember also that underneath it all lies a very needy and insecure individual. It is nice to be liked but keep your guard up at least until you know the person can be trusted.

This does not mean that you should push a good man away. Be careful not to do that. However, go with your gut instinct and you should be fine-at least most of the time.

Update &13 months later): I have read over and over again about how to trust a man. I also read about how to distinguish between a honest man (or woman) and a liar. Apparently there really is some value in "listening to your gut."

Whether you are a man or a woman as a matter of fact if you feel uneasy about someone you should not hang around that person. Of course, it may not always be for some horrible, bad reason. Some people are just not meant for one another and are just not right for one another.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

I'm not stooping to anyone's level any more!

Conblogaration2010 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:01:00 GMT

I'm not stooping to anyone's level any more. A person I am with either wants to be with me or he doesn't. And if he doesn't don't let the door hit him on the back end when he leaves. That's pretty much all I have to say about that. I so sick and tired of all the rejection when I don't think I ever deserved and all I want is a little bit of my own happiness-with or without a man who may or may not wan to be with me in the first place.

It is time to move on. It is time to stop allowing myself to be caught in that web. Over and over again it has happened to me and now I am finally learning to recognize the signs....

As they say in that movie (and forgive me conservative people)...in that movie He's Just not that Into You...

If a man acts like he doesn't give a sh*t...he genuinely doesn't give a sh*t.

It may not be that word for word but pretty close to it at least. I think that is an excellent principle to live by so that women (or the other way around-men) would stop wasting their years with people who take them for granted or who are not that interested-if at all.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

The Nerve of Some People (Guys who treat women like dirt)

Conblogaration2010 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 14:51:00 GMT

The nerve of some people! I am speaking about the guys who treat women like dirt. They do this in their younger years and then one day they start complaining about all these horrible things a woman has done to them. I don't wish any harm on anyone who has truly changed. But if that person has not then all I can say is he (or she if it is a female) has was was coming to them in some way.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!

I Revel in this Power I Have (or Thought I Had)

Conblogaration2010 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 03:46:00 GMT

I revel in this power I have (or thought I had at one time). Okay, I don't want to think of myself as this total whore or anything. I am/was usually a very selective person. Generally speaking I would rather be involved with a person I care about and have feelings for than just some bum off the street. (God only knows where that thing has been!)

But...I must admit I enjoy the power I sort of have-or at least thought I had for awhile. I mean...I shouldn't brag that my "little black book" was at least for awhile about as long or longer than any one that a guy would have. But I for a time wanted to rub it in people's faces just ever so slightly.

I mean...after all, most of the people in the book were ones who screwed me over at one time or another anyway. So, if and when I see any of those individuals ever again (which generally speaking is not likely) I know I have that opportunity.

And, I could not help but revel in the thought just a little-at least at one time. Does that mean I accept every opportunity that comes along? Of course not! After all I have a job, family, and friends for crying out loud. I know that "gloating" is not the answer and still isn't. However, it is hard not to want to prove my self-worth in how attractive I feel-which is not always healthy.

Furthermore, just because I am a single woman does not mean I need to accept every desperate cry for "love" that comes long. It's just the principle of the matter. Everyone wants to feel feel attractive whether the person follows through on the action or not.

With that in mind, there seems to always have been a double standard. Everyone knows its okay for guys to have a "little black book" but what about women?

But for me, I have begun to play the game the way most men do. I finally became as complacent as the guys I dated as I wrapped myself around a very convenient, loveless relationship. It may not be what I expected but hey it kept me out of trouble and from further heartbreak at least for awhile.

You can look but don't touch (at least not to make money)! Copyrighted by Hannah Joy Publishing.com and DumpthatJerk.hannahjoypublishing.com. Feel free to pass along for non-commercial use though!